I have played around with sleep all my life. In my quest to become more productive, I have experimented with many cycles. I am sure many of you have, too.
It is a pointless fight. Our bodies need sleep and if we don’t allow our body to rest, it will not allow us to function. I have concluded that I need at least 7 hours of overnight sleep. You also need a similar number plus minus one hour. Trust me, if you are not allowing yourself as much, you are doing yourself a disservice.
Trying to fight with sleep is like trying to argue with women-it is as pointless as that. Even if you win the battle and you wake up after 4–5 hours of sleep, you will end up feeling groggy throughout the day. That will severely affect your productivity. Instead if you allow yourself, a peaceful 7–8 hours, you will feel way fresher and productive. Even if you end up putting in lesser hours at work that day, you will feel way more productive because you allowed your body the rest it needs.
Here are my few tips to sleep well, and they apply to me as well. Oh, this seems like a notes-to-self kind of a piece suddenly. Anyhow, let’s go for it.
Sleep when it’s night
There must be a reason the earth revolves about the sun. I don’t care about earth because that’s beside the point. The point is when it’s dark, besides moving about naked with another human being who is available and interested, which is a subject for another article, you should sleep.
If you sleep during the day, no matter how many hours, you won’t be able to catch up on lost overnight sleep. Night sleep is perhaps the most important thing you would do with your day.
Turn off the internet 2 hours before bed time and calls 1 hour before bed time
I wish I could throw the phone away, but then some people wake up when all’s quiet and feel like calling you. Sometimes, these calls and some of these Whats App messages seem important. But trust me, no Whats App message is more important than your bed time.
Nobody is dying because you don’t answer your Whats App. If you are important to someone and it is an important conversation to make, they will call you. Switch off the internet multiple times in the day, like mine is off right now, as I write this. I can’t write if my internet is on and messages keep popping in my phone.
Do not feel guilty about sleeping
This happened to me so often before I realized sleep is a basic requirement. If I oversleep as per my perception, I have felt guilty over the years. However, off late, as I am coming to terms with the fact that my body and mind needs sleep, I don’t feel guilty anymore.
You need to stop feeling guilty as well. Guilt kills everything valuable in us.
Breathe deep before crashing
I don’t know what your views on mediation are. It’s fine if you hate it. But you can’t hate breathing. Before you crash, sit with your legs crossed and take a few deep breaths. Allow your thoughts to wander. Do not try to concentrate. Concentration is the opposite of meditation.
Have a light dinner
If you eat a heavy dinner, forget about a night of peaceful sleep. Even if you sleep, you will end up waking up multiple times at night and be full of hydrogen gas. You are not a cylinder. Please understand.
Eat a light dinner and have it 2–3 hours before bed time, so that there is time to digest it.
Sleep well and let others sleep well too.
Do not argue with women
Actually this shouldn’t have been a separate point but then I realised it was quite important. Keep your women happy. Try to keep your women happy. There is nothing like a completely satisfied woman. Keep your mother, your sister, your girlfriend/wife/live-in partner/friend with benefits in a bearable mood so that there isn’t fire brewing inside of them while you try to sleep. If there is fire inside them, it will burn your life sooner or later.
Thank you for reading this piece. I am writing a bunch of long form articles this month, so please follow me.
I am writer and stand-up comedian. This is my YouTube channel. Please check it out and get in touch for comedy gigs/writing articles, or movies or books, or copy, whatever! I love writing and the stage, as long as the subject interests me.
Let me know, how you found this piece in the comment section. Please clap if you liked it. It makes the effort worth it.
Thank you for reading.